I guess all that happened of note in April is that I had one of the worst days of my life. To make a LONG story brief, Stephen went to the dentist to get some work done, and he went into shock as he was getting his x-rays. He started making this weird sound, so I got up to see him lax and cyanotic, with his eyes rolled back. The dental tech lady said he'd had a seizure, and I shouted for someone to come help. He was "fine" as soon as he regained consciousness and threw up a few times, but was checked out by a few sets of EMTs, some firefighters, and a cop. He kept apologizing for scaring me! Needless to say, I made him take the day off and be with me.
I was also started on bupropion (again) for depression. Apparently, people with anxiety will have palpitations if they aren't slowly introduced to bupropion. It's helped tremendously in some areas, but not as much with the actual depression. It's helped enough (I'm not nearly as suicidal), but I wish I could feel better. I still feel terrible most of the time. They're both recommending anti-psychotics at this point.
To help further, my therapist prescribed an emotional support animal. I was very, very excited. I'd been looking at kitties ever since I brought up the idea of an ESA. Unfortunately, the day after I got my letter, there were no cats at Petsmart. So, in desperation, we went to Animal Ark. There were only the orange kittens I'd seen a few days before.
Without thinking (or breathing!), we got a kitten. I cried as soon as we got home. I felt so guilty for not getting the rescue cats. Now we had this tiny orange kitten we didn't connect with. We'd made a huge mistake. The kitten was a great little kitten, but he had a biting problem. He was always biting us. He was so full of energy. I later learned how young he was. He was a tiny baby, so he didn't have time to learn not to bite from his littermates.
We tried. We really, really did, but he was just too much for us. We ended up giving him to a girl whose 20 year old orange cat had just died. She also had a little puppy with whom August (what we named the orange kitten) became instant buddies. I was SO happy a good home came along for him! He was a sweet boy.
After we gave him up, we took a small break to rest and think. We sunk well over $100 on a kitten that, deep down, we knew we didn't connect with. We got a new sectional sofa because we were tired of our leather loveseat. We just had some peace and quiet in our apartment.
We decided to go with an older cat. Stephen was done with kittens. August was his first experience owning a kitten. They're not all that crazy! August was way too much of a party animal for us.
Anyway, that's when we went to the SUVAS to get a rescue cat. We just drove there, walked in, and said we were there to look at some cats. The lady looked up at us with some level of frustration and said: "Do you want a kitten?"
"No, no" Stephen said, holding his hands up. "We want a cat.".
Her eyes softened. "We have cats here and in the back, but you can't buy any of them today. We close at 6pm." It was kitten season, and I'm sure they'd seen plenty of people come in to buy kittens for their significant others only to return the adults they become later. A lot of people don't understand that a kitten is a 10+ commitment, and it's not a kitten for most of that time.
We looked at all the cats of all ages. I saw so many adorable kittens that I just longed for. I saw a few cats who seemed like a good fit for us. Stephen looked at this longhaired black and white cat "Ember" for a long time. He asked me what I thought, and I replied that she was okay.
We looked at all the cats. And, when I turned the corner, I saw these crystal blue eyes peeking out from this black abyss. She was a young siamese cat with a dark brown face and brownish body with dark brown mits and tail. She was just too cute. I knew I wanted her. I even picked out a name. We were going to get her the next day.
The next day came and we took her out to play with in another room, a "getting to know you" room, so to speak. She was shedding a LOT because she was stressed. She rubbed up on us and explored. She was beautiful, but something didn't feel right. I just didn't feel a connection again. I was heartbroken because I so wanted to. But then again, what if I was just worrying because of the daunting decision of adding a family member?
Stephen noticed something was wrong and suggested we look at other cats. I couldn't face all those poor kitties again, so we looked in the front glass enclosure. It was filled with the meows of kittens, but it was still less unsettling than the back room. There was "Ember" and a chill black cat amidst all the tiny, frantic kittens. Stephen pointed her out again, and I agreed to meet her.
As I carried her to the other room, I noticed her body was not as stiff and foreign-feeling as the other cat. We set her down, and that's when I noticed Stephen crying. I asked him what was up, and he replied: "I'm just so happy. I love her. I really love her." How could I say no to that?! So we decided to get her then and there. We waited with her in the room while the paperwork was finalized and we found a name for her. This is Millicent:
It's hard to capture on camera, but she has the greenest eyes. She's very, very chatty. Very shy around strangers. Skittish, so adorable, and clingy. She's a good little cat. Very petite cat. We call her Millie. She looks kind of like Milo, and that's what I like most about her. Oh, and she LOVES Stephen!
